CUZ YOUR VAGINA JUST ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH... ( 2 )

WITH ALL THE FLAIR AND FANCY THAT GOES INTO EVERYTHING NOWADAYS, IT HAS COME TO THE POINT WHERE EVEN THE MOST BASIC OF LIFE PLEASURES ARE NO LONGER GOOD ENOUGH THE WAY THEY ARE. POINT IN CASE: THE FEMALE VAGINA. THE COVETED THING THAT HAS DROVE A MAN CRAZY SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME HAS BECOME OUTDATED, AND YES, EVEN BORING. BUT NO NEED TO WORRY LADIES, THERE IS SOMETHING THAT CAN BE DONE TO MAKE YOUR VADGE LESS OF A BORE. SAY HELLO TO VAJAZZLING, THE NEW HOT SPA TREATMENT THAT GIVES YOUR CROTCHSICLE THE LITTLE OOMPH IT NEEDS TO START RAKING IN THE PENIS THE WAY ITS SUPPOSED TO. FEELING DOWN? VAJAZZLE! GOT A RAISE? VAJAZZLE! HAVE A HOT DATE? VAJAZZLE! NEED A HOT DATE? VAJAZZLE! A FAMILY MEMBER PASSES AWAY? VAJAZZLE! NO MATTER WHAT HORRIFIC THING LIFE THROWS AT YOU, IT COULD VERY WELL BE CURED BY VAJAZZLING. MADE POPULAR BY JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT (LETS TRY AND CONTAIN OUR LAUGHTER) THIS NEW TREATMENT IS NOW BEING OFFERED AT SPA'S EVERYWHERE (AND BY EVERYWHERE I MEAN IN LA). TO GET A UP CLOSE AND TOO PERSONAL LOOK AT VAJAZZLING, TAKE A LOOK AT THESE PHOTOS BELOW COURTESY OF A BRAVE SOUL AT THE LUXURY SPOT.


NOW THIS MAY BRING UP SOME VERY GOOD QUESTIONS. SOME THAT I HAVE ARE: DO THEY DO FILL'S LIKE THEY DO WITH MANICURES? "HEY THE STONES FELL OFF MY VADGE CAN YOU FILL ME UP?". ALSO, DOES A VAJAZZLED VADGE RESULT IN A VAJAZZLED PENIS AFTER SEX? OH THE POSSIBILITIES.
NOW WE (BASICALLY I SINCE I AM THE ONLY ONE WRITING ON THIS SHIT) HERE @ CASH MONI UNDERSTAND THAT SOME OF Y'ALL ARE ON A BUDGET AND CAN'T PLAY xx AMOUNT OF DOLLARS TO HAVE YOUR PUSSY SHIMMER. BEING THE EQUAL-OPPORTUNITY VAGINAL ACCESSORY OPPORTUNISTS THAT WE ARE, WE WANTED TO PROVIDE YOU BROKE FOLK WITH AN ECONOMICAL OPTION FOR SOME UNDER-YOU-WEAR PIZAZZ. BEHOLD, THE CLITTER!

HOT LINKS. ( 1 )

FOR ONE SEC LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE WEIRD SHIT ON THIS DUDE'S HEAD BUT RATHER THE FACT THAT THERE IS A NIFTY LITTLE POCKET FOR HIS DICK, WHERE IT CAN REST AS A 3D PART OF HIS ENSEMBLE. DICK FAHSION BROUGHT TO YOU BY ONE OF THE INSANELY AWESOME LINKS IN THIS WEEKS EDITION OF HOT LINKS (THE URL'S NOT THE SAUSAGE EVEN THOUGH...EVERYONE LOVES SAUSAGE).

ORIGINAL DICK ENSEMBLES: GUANABEE
LOLZ COMMENTARY ON DICK ENSEMBLES: THE BOOBS
PRETTY PRINCESS NEW VINTAGE SPOT: HAPPY HOUSE VINTAGE
BONERRIFIC BLOG ABOUT BONERS (A MUST READ): BONERTOWN

CUTIE KURTIE BOY. ( 1 )

I KNOW, I REALLY HAVE TO STOP WITH THE SHOE POSTS. I DON'T KNOW WHY I DO IT, I DON'T EVEN OWN THAT MANY SHOES!! MAYBE THAT THE POINT, MY TASTE IN SHOES IS TOO EXPENSIVE SO I DON'T ACTUALLY BUY THEM, I JUST SEE THEM ONLINE AND DREAM AND BLOG ABOUT BUYING THEM HOPING SOMEONE ELSE WILL BUY THEM AND I CAN VICARIOUSLY THROUGH THEM. FOR ALL I KNOW 99% OF THESE SHOES I POST ABOUT COULD FEEL LIKE YOU'RE WALKING ON HOT COALS. OH WELL, BEAUTY IS PAIN, AND IF LOVING THESE KURT GEIGER SHOES IS WRONG THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT. THE SELECTION OF SHOES HE OFFERS IS BEYOND RIDIC/ BANKRUPTCY BUT MY FAVORITES HAPPEN TO BE THE THICK ASS CHUNKY WOOD PLATFORM HEEL DEALS HE HAS GOING ON. BIG SHOES NEED LOVE TOO. HE HAS WAYYYYYY TOO MANY SHOES TO POST THEM ALL SO I HIGHLY RECOMMEND GOING OVER AND TAKING A PEEK AT WHAT'S GOING ON IN HIS SHOE WONDERLAND OF A WEBSITE. DROOOOLZ...

CLAW MONEY SPRING 2010. ( 0 )

I WANT IT ALL. THE TANKS MOST ESPECIALLY AND THOSE TIGHTS. PMS VERBIAGE, BRAINS, WEED PAPERS...WHATS A GIRL NOT TO LOVE? I LIKE IT SO MUCH THAT I AM GOING TO EXCUSE THE "SHOT IN THE BASEMENT BY MY BROTHER" LOOK OF THE PHOTOS AND JUST CHALK IT UP TO HER BEING RAW AND NOT SOME BOUGIE FASHION UPPITY ASSHOLE. I GOT YOU GIRL. YOU CAN PEEP/ PURCHASE THE ENTIRE COLLECTION HERE.

FATHER, SON, & HOLY VINTAGE. ( 1 )

WHEN YOU DIE AND THINK YOU GO TO VINTAGE HEAVEN, YOU ARE REALLY GOING TO RESURRECTION VINTAGE. A STORE THAT CONTAINS SOME OF THE BEST VINTAGE ITEMS I HAVE EVER SEEN, IN THE BEST CONDITION, FOR SOME OF THE MOST RIDICULOUS PRICES, THIS SET UP IS DIVINE IN ALL DEFINITIONS OF THE WORD. AN EYEGASM AWAITS AS THE SHOP HAS A PLETHORA OF BEAUTIFUL OLD CHANEL, BOOKS, JEWELRY, CLOTHING, HATS, AND OTHER LIL GEMS. THE CHANEL BIRDCAGE EARRINGS AND BACKPACK ARE PROBABLY MY CHOICE ITEMS, GOING FOR $550 AND $1,600 RESPECTIVELY. THE INTERNETZ IS EXPENSIVE NOWADAYS. GEE WHIZ.

TERRY RICHARDSON GOES GUIDO. ( 1 )

THIS COULD NOT GET ANY BETTER. TWO OF MY OBSESSIONS HAVE MERGED IN ONE PROJECT... PHOTOGRAPHER AND MY EYE CANDY GO-TO TERRY RICHARDSON SHOT THE GUIDO GANG FROM JERSEY SHORE AND THESE FUN FLICKS ARE THE OUTCOME. WHO CAN GUESS WHO HAS SLEPT WITH MORE PPL? ITS A CLOSE ONE TO ME. EITHER WAY THESE PICTURES ARE GENIUS/ PRICELESS. O HAI DJ PAULY D, WASSSUPPPPPP WIT CHOO? MORE PHOTOS AT REFINERY 29

ON THE PROWL. ( 0 )

GIAMBATTISTA VALLI ANIMAL-PRINT GOAT HAIR JACKET. NOT THE MOST ANIMAL FRIENDLY ITEM OF CLOTHING BUT ONE FIERCE BITCH OF A THING TO OWN. ONLY $4,300 AND IT CAN BE YOURS COURTESY OF NET-A-PORTER.

NEW SHAPES. ( 0 )

THE NEW SHAPES SPREAD FROM THE MARCH 2010 ISSUE OF HARPER'S BAZAAR. NEVER THOUGHT FRIZZY HAIR WAS A THING TO BE COVETED BUT THIS MAKES ME THINK TWICE. PLAYBOY HUSTLA HOE MEETS JACKIE O. LIKEY A LOT.

WAXXY. ( 0 )

NICHOLAS KIRKWOOD FOR RODARTE FALL/WINTER 2010/2011. MELTY HOT CANDLE WAXX HEELS XO. PHOTOS COURTESY OF JAK + JIL.

CAPTAIN EO! ( 1 )

TO SAY I AM EXCITED ABOUT THE RETURN OF CAPTAIN EO IS THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR. LETS NOT GET IT TWISTED, CAPTAIN EO CAME OUT THE YEAR I WAS BORN. I LOVE MICHAEL JACKSON, LOVED HIM SO MUCH SINCE CHILDHOOD THAT I HAD AN IMPERSONATOR AT THE THIRD BDAY. I AM ON THE REALZ. I HAVE GONE TO DISNEYLAND AT LEAST 3 TIMES A YEAR SINCE I WAS BORN, AND NOW THAT I HAVE A SEASON PASS (YESSUM SEASON PASS @ 24 YRS OLD, AND WHAT) I CANNOT BE MORE OVERJOYED AT THE FACT THAT CAPTAIN EO IS BACK. THIS WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY CHILDHOOD. NOW I CAN CONTINUE GOING ON AND ON, AND MAKING YOU ALL JEALOUS ABOUT THE FACT THAT I AM GOING TO D-LAND ON SUNDAY, BUT INSTEAD I WILL LET THE MAGICAL SHOW SPEAK FOR ITSELF. BEHOLD, CAPTAIN EO.

PRETTY PLEASE. ( 1 )

EVERYTIME I GO ONTO THE OPENING CEREMONY WEBSITE I AUTOMATICALLY REGRET IT. THIS TIME, IT WAS THE SHOE SECTION THAT WAS GETTING ME ALL WET IN THE PANTIES. FROM LEFT TO RIGHT/ TOP TO BOTTOM: W27 SUNBURST LACE-UP WEDGE IN SUEDE FOREST, $435; W4 GLADIATOR OXFORD IN LEOPARD, $415; W17 LACE-UP SANDAL IN SUEDE MAGENTA, $325; W21 COVERED WEDGE CLOG IN SUEDE SAND, $460 (THIS ONES A KILLAH). I'LL TAKE THEM ALL!

A BIG FUCK YOU TO THE HATERS... ( 0 )

TO ANYONE WHO HATES/ CLOWNS ON/ DOUBTS THE FASHION BLOGGERS, READ THIS. VERY WELL WRITTEN PIECE COURTESY OF GOOD MORNING MIDNIGHT. GO GIRL.

RETRO SUPER FUTURE LUCIA SHADESSS. ( 0 )

THESE ARE RETRO AND HAVE A BABY BAT WING AND I KIND OF REALLY WANT THE TORTOISE SHELL ONES. AVAILABLE FOR $161 @ RSVP GALLERY.

ARMPIT OF THE SEASONS. ( 0 )

IF YOU'RE IN LA RIGHT NOW THEN LIKE ME, YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THIS PMS-ING MOOD SWING WEATHER THAT GOES BACK & FORTH BETWEEN BEING A HOT PLEASANT BITCH, TO A RAINY BROODY NASTY LITTLE CUNT (SCUSE THE LANGUAGE). BEING THAT THIS SCHIZO WEATHER CHANGES ON THE DAILY I AM CONSTANTLY HARASSING MY USE OF WEATHER.COM TO SEE WHAT TO WEAR. NEVER A NEED FOR A REAL COAT (JEALOUS EASTCOASTERSSSS???) BUT NOT QUITE TIME FOR A TANK TOP, THESE TWO PIECES ARE SOMETHING THAT I BEGAN SALIVATING OVER UPON FIRST GLANCE. FROM TOP TO BOTTOM: ERYN BRINIE GRAYSON DRAWSTRING JACKET, $142; ERYN BRINIE MARINA CHAMBRAY JACKET, $128.

GIRL CRUSH CONT'D. ( 0 )

THE FEBRUARY NYLON MAG "THIS IS A LOVE SONG" EDITORIAL FOCUSES ON REAL LIFE COUPLE AND 1 OF MY MAD GIRL CRUSHES CHARLOTTE KEMP MUHL AND SEAN LENNON. THE FIRST PIC IS SO TAXI DRIVER ITS BANANAS. SIGH XOXO

ZUH UNIBROWZZZ ARE IN DARRRRRLING. ( 0 )

I ALMOST DIED WHEN I SAW THESE PHOTOS OF THE NEW TOPSHOP A/W 2010 COLLECTION, WHICH APPEARS TO BE SOME SORT OF MIXED BREED DERIVING FROM WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE, FRIDA, AND ALL THINGS WINTER AND BURLY. TOTALLY IN LOVE/ INFATUATED AND THOUGH IT SOUNDS GROSS, IF UNIBROWS BECOME THE NEW THING AS A RESULT OF THIS COLLECTION I AIN'T MAD AT IT. LESS TIME PLUCKING AND MAINTAINING THOSE BEASTS IS ALL GOOD BY ME. LOVE THE THICK THIGH HIGH SOCKS, CRAZED FRIZZ DO'S, FUR (OBVI), AND THAT LONG CHARCOAL SUEDE COAT...HMMMZ I NEED IT. TUTU FRINGE IS ALWAYS THE BIZ TOO. TOPSHOP, YOU NEVER DISAPPOINT. JUST GET YR ENGLISH ARSE TO LA ALREADY BECAUSE WERE MISSING YOU HERE, AND THREE TRIPS TO NY A YEAR JUST AINT CUTTING IT. PHOTOS COURTESY OF FASHION COPIOUS.

ATTACK OF THE SQUIRMLES! ( 0 )

THIS POST HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING AND IS ENTIRELY STUPID. NOW THAT WE HAVE THAT OUT OF THE WAY LET ME INTRODUCE THE COOLEST SLASH SCARIEST THING EVER. INTRODUCING, SQUIRMLES. THESE LITTLE WEIRD FUZZIES LOOK LIKE SOME SORT OF COMBINATION OF CATERPILLARS AND SEA HORSES AND SNORKS, AND SOMEHOW THEY MAGICALLY FLY ALL OVER THE PLACE ON THEIR OWN. THINK ANIMAL FRIENDS THAT MOVE LIKE AN ASIAN PERSON'S GLOWSTICK. ARE THEY THE NEXT BIG TREND...PROBABLY NOT. BUT THEY SURE AS HELL ENTERTAINING AND I KIND OF REALLY WANT ONE. I KEPT RUNNING INTO THEM AT THE WEIRDO MAGIC STORES IN VEGAS THIS PAST WEEKEND AND WAS SUUUUUPER TEMPTED TO BUY IN ON THE THREE FOR $12 DEAL THAT WAS POSTED EVERYWHERE. IN THE VIDEO BELOW THEY CALL THEM "MAGIC TWISTY" BUT THEY OBVIOUSLY ARE NOT DOWN WITH THE LATEST ON THE SQUIRMLE (TRE LAME). DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BUY A LOVED ON FOR THEIR BDAY.. WHY NOT TRY A SQUIRMLE??

LOVE JEN KAO. ( 1 )

ANOTHER OF MY FALL 2010 OBSESSIONS FROM NYFW. JEN KAO'S STUFF IS AMAZING AND I AM PARTICULARLY LOVING THE SEXY KNIT MINI'S AND LEATHER JACKETS WITH PUFF FUR SLEEVES. DYING. AND OF COURSE, MY LOVE FOR THE COLOR BLACK AND SEMI-GOTH APPEAL CONTINUES. FUCK ME RIGHT. JEN KAO, IF YOURE LISTENING GIRL, HOOK ME UPPPPP! PICS COURTESY OF STYLE.COM.

THE HAPS: DMPC JUS LIV'IN THIS WKND. ( 0 )

THIS WEEKEND I WILL BE GETTING ENTIRELY TOO DRUNK AND WILL TAKE PART IN ACTIVITIES WITH "THOSE GIRLS" THAT RUN AROUND VEGAS BEING LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS AND LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT. GIRLS WKND, HAIIII. IF I WAS NOT, HOWEVER, AND I WAS STAYING IN LA, I WOULD MOST DEFINITELY MAKE IT A POINT TO ATTEND THE BELOW EVENT. TWO OF MY FAVORITE BRAND FOR BOYZ N GIRLS, JSLV AND DMPC WILL BE THERE SO I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU ALL GO AND CHECK OUT WHATEVER GOODIES THEY HAVE IN STORE. SUPPORT LA FASHION Y'ALL. SHOW EM THAT NOT ALL THE GOOD STUFF IS IN NEW YAWK.

SKY HIGH. ( 1 )

PIERRE HARDY, GIVENCHY, & GIVENCHY. THESE SHOULD ALL BE MINE FOR SUMMER 2010 BUT INSTEAD I SITZ HERE AND DROOLZ. LE SIGH.

DAPHNE, JAIME, & AGYNESS. ( 0 )

THIS COVER/ SPREAD FOR THE FEBRUARY 2010 ISSUE OF VOGUE ITALIA IS BREATHTAKING. SHOT BY STEVEN MEISEL THE SPREAD TITLED "THREE WOMEN" IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING YOU WANT TO PEEP. CLASSY AND EPIC, THESE THREE ARE AMAZING ON THEIR OWN, AND TOGETHER THEY ARE GODDAMNFUCKINGAWESOME. TO SEE THE FULL PIECE CHECK OUT FASHION ROGUE. ON ANOTHER VOGUE NOTE (TOTALLY UNRELATED IN A FAMILY GUY MOMENT THAT I SEEM TO BE HAVING) YOU ALL MUST CHECK OUT THE NEW VOGUE WITH TINA FEY ON THE COVER. HER ARTICLE IS BALLS OUT COOL. I LOVE HER.

RAD OMEN, RAD ANTHEM. ( 0 )

I WAS SHOWN THIS RAD OMEN MUSIC VIDEO THE OTHER DAY BY MY HOT ASS DJ BOYFRENNN WHO SAID TO ME "I WANT TO PARTY LIKE THIS". UPON SEEING THIS I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND SEEING AS HOW THESE GUYS ARE DRESSED AS FAST FOOD ICONS, SNORTING COKE OFF OF STRIPPERS AND HAVING ASS RUBBED IN THEIR FACES. FOR NOW I WILL FORGET HE EVER SAID ANYTHING AND FOCUS ON THE FACT THAT THIS IS INDEED A COOL VIDEO THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GREMLINS (I'LL DEAL WITH YOU LATER JUSTIN).

STAND IN LINE, TAKE A #. ( 0 )

SOMETIMES I SPEND HOURS LOOKING AT TUMBLR WISHING THAT I HAD ONE TO POST ALL MY FASCINATION FLICKS IN. THEN I SNAP OUT OF IT AND REMEMBER THAT I LOVE TO SCRIBBLE DOWN SOME BULLSHIT FOR Y'ALL AND THAT PHOTOS ALONE WOULD NOT DO. ON THE RARE OCCASSION THAT I DO FIND A PHOTO DOES SOMETHING FOR ME ALL ITS OWN I SAY FUCK IT, AND HENCE, A POST LIKE THE BELOW. MY RESPONSE TO THIS PHOTO: AWWW REALLY THOUGH?? THANKS, CANT WAIT.

NYFW FAVES. ( 0 )

SO FAR I'M ALL ABOUT PROENZA SCHOULER AND THAKOON FOR FALL 2010. SADLY TO SAY ONE OF MY FAVORITE DESIGNERS, ALEXANDER WANG, KIND OF REALLY DISSAPOINTED. BOOOO. LOVE THE BELOW THOUGH. PATTERNS & FURSSSSS. HOT STUFFZ!

PISSING EVERYWHERE ISN'T VERY CHANEL. ( 1 )

MIND YOUR MANNERS LADIES. CHANEL IS ALWAYS WATCHING. (P.S. REALLLLLLY WANT TO PUT THIS IN MY BATHROOM).

HOW TO MAKE A KE$HA. ( 3 )

ASIDE FROM TYRA BANKS AND DIDDY, IT IS RARE THAT SOMEONE BOTHERS MY VERY LIFE FORCE SO MUCH THAT I AM COMPELLED TO DEDICATE AN ENTIRE BLOG POST TO DISSECTING THEIR DISGUSTING BEING. THIS RARITY HAS LATELY BEEN CHALLENGED BY THE THING KNOWN AS KE$HA. JOCKING MY "$" SIGN AS PART OF HER NAME AND INSISTING ON AN OVERALL PERSONA SO BAD THAT YOU KNOW SHE'S FULL OF SHIT, KE$HA SIGNIFIES (FOR ME AT LEAST) EVERYTHING WRONG WITH MUSIC, AND LETS JUST SAY LIFE IN GENERAL. MY ANNOYANCE IS EVEN FURTHERED BY THE FACT THAT HER DAMN SONG IS ALWAYS ON LIKE EVERYWHERE AND ENDS UP BEING STUCK IN MY HEAD. THAT IS NEITHER HERE NOR THERE. IN AN EFFORT TO DESCRIBE WHY I HATE KE$HA, I THOUGHT I WOULD BREAK DOWN THE VERY INGREDIENTS THAT MAKE HER A PREDICTABLE POSER SHITSTORM.

AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THE HIGHLY SCIENTIFIC DIAGRAM I CONJURED UP (ABOVE), KE$HA IS A CAREFUL MIX OF GOLDEN RETRIEVER HAIR, HARLEY DAVIDSON BIKER DUDE STENCH, AVRIL LAVIGNE CIRCA "SKATER BOY", LINDSAY LOHAN GINGER FRECKLES, A BAD MAKEUP JOB MOST LIKELY DONE BY A GANG OF D LIST DRAG QUEENS, SHITTY MUSIC/ LYRICS/ EVERYTHING, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY A WHOLE LOT OF D-BAG TENDANCIES, THE NUMBER ONE OF WHICH IS TRYING TOO DAMN HARD TO BE AN EVEN BIGGER D-BAG. YES HER MUSIC IS CATCHY. YES IT GETS STUCK IN YOUR HEAD AFTER HEARING IF FIFTY TIMES. IS SHE TALENTED, NO. IS SHE REAL, FUCK NO. KE$HA IS A COLLAGE OF EVERYTHING THAT HAS WORKED BEFORE AND HAS NOW BEEN STRATEGICALLY MASHED TOGETHER TO MAKE THIS CLUSTERFUCK OF A HUMAN. FOR ALL WE KNOW THIS GIRL PROBABLY LOVES CHESS AND EATS PAINT. HIGHLY DOUBTFUL SHE BRUSHES HER TEETH WITH A BOTTLE OF JACK. IF ANYTHING, I THINK I COULD POSSIBLY LIKE KE$HA IF SHE PERFORMED ALL HER SONGS WITH A BAG OVER HER HEAD AND A MOO MOO ON. THAT WOULD BE MORE INTERESTING THAN WHAT SHE THINKS SHE IS, AND WHAT SHE IS PRETENDING TO BE.

GET YR CLAWS ON CLAW FOR VDAY. ( 0 )

UBER TALENTED FEMALE GRAFF ARTIST AND WRITER OF BLOGUE, CLAW MONEY IS HAVING A 50% OFF SITE-WIDE SALE FOR VDAY. GOODIES FOR MENZ & LADIES ON APPAREL, EYEWEAR, AND SELECT JEWELRY. BETTER GET ON THIS.

VENA CAVA HURR&MAKEUP. ( 0 )

BEHIND THE SCENES SNAPS OF THE MODELS @ VENA CAVA FOR NYFW. COLORED HAIR, BRIGHT LIPS, MUTED MATTE NAILS, FUR, & GLASHES. WISH I WAS THERE.



[REFINERY 29]

UGLY BOOTS. ( 0 )

ALL I REALLY WANT IS A PAIR OF UGLY BOOTS. NOT TOO CLEAN, NOT TOO CUTE. JUST A LITTLE DIRTY AND SHITTY LIKE I'VE BEEN WORKING IN THE MINES ALL DAY RACKING COAL AND SPITTING INTO A BUCKET. THE ECONOMY'S BAD ENOUGH, WE CAN PRETEND THIS IS THE 1920'S DEPRESSION, I CAN WEAR MY UGLY BOOTS, YOU CAN SNEER, AND WE CAN ALL GO ABOUT OUR BIZNESS. FROM LEFT TO RIGHT: DEENA & OZZIE LACE-UP BOOTIE, $68; ALFRED BROGUE WORKBOOTS, $145; WE WHO SEE FIELD BOOT, $128. CHEERS.

CA$H MONI SALUTES JESSICA SIMPSONS GOLDEN KITTY. ( 2 )

THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS WOMEN CAN BE PROUD OF NOWADAYS BUT OF ALL THE COVETED THINGS IN THE WORLD, WHAT BETTER CAN BE SAID ABOUT YOU THAN THE FACT THAT YOUR KITTY IS SO BOMB SOMEONE WOULD PAY $10,000 JUST TO TAP IT FROM ALL ANGLES? I THINK THAT IS PRETTY MUCH REACHING THE OVERALL END GOAL OF LIFE. YESTERDAY PEOPLE EVERYWHERE, WHO OBVIOUSLY HAVE NOT GONE FOR THEIR ENEMA OR GOTTEN ANY ASS IN THE RECENT PAST, GOT IN A TIZZY ABOUT SOME "SCANDALOUS" INTERVIEW JOHN MAYER DID WITH PLAYBOY MAGAZINE. TO SUM UP THIS INTERVIEW, JOHN MAYER ONLY FUCKS CAUCASIANS, HES SEMI-RACIST AND THINKS ITS FUNNY AND CUTE, AND HE, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD, THINKS JENNIFER ANISTON IS BORING AS FUCK. WOOPDY DOO. SOMEHOW THIS INTERVIEW BECAME THE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION EVERYWHERE AND NOW EVERYONE HATES JOHN MAYER. MY THOUGHTS ON THIS...DID Y'ALL NOT READ THE PART ABOUT JESSICA SIMPSON'S PUSSY MAKING JOHN MAYER WANT TO QUIT LIFE? HELLO...THAT KIND OF R00LZ. WHY ARE WE NOT FOCUSING ON THAT AND HOW WE ALL CAN ACHIEVE IT?! POST-FEMINISIM SAYS USE THAT PUSSY POWER AND I SAY...WELL THE SAME. JESSICA SIMPSON HELD OUT TILL MARRIAGE AND NOW THAT GIRL IS A FREAK WORTH SPEAKING ABOUT IN PLAYBOY, THE HOLY GRAIL FOR FREAKS AND ALL THINGS PERVERSE. MAKES ME WISH I WOULD HAVE WAITED (BUT NOT REALLY THOUGH). ALL IN ALL, WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY THROUGH ALL THIS BABBLE IS WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT JOHN MAYER? LET HIM CROON ABOUT HAWAIIAN SUNSETS AND WHATEVER WONDERLAND HE WANTS. LET HIM BE AND FUCK WHITE WOMEN UNTIL HIS DICK DRIES UP AND FALLS OFF. IN THE MEANTIME, CAN WE PLEASE ALL GIVE JESSICA SIMPSON A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR HAVING THE ABILITY TO GET A MAN DRUNK OFF HER VADGE. PRETTY DAMN IMPRESSIVE IF YOU ASK ME.

IN MY WHITE TEE. ( 1 )

THIS GIVES NEW MEANING TO THE TERM WHITE TEE AND I AM ALL ABOUT IT. IF I COULD REALLY HAVE ALL OF THESE, A LITTLE TOO BAGGY, AND THROW THEM ON WITH SOME TIGHTS, UGLY BOOTS, AND CALL IT A DAY LIFE WOULD BE TOO GOOD. SINCE I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHERE TO BUY THEM, OR IF I EVEN CAN, OR IF THEY'RE SOME GRAPHIC DESIGNERS CONCOCTION WITH NOT ACTUAL SHIRTS EVEN EXISTING, I MIGHT HAVE TO FRAUD MYSELF A COUPLE OF THE BELOW. A LITTLE JANKYNESS DON'T HURT. PHOTOS GRATIS OF OFF THE HOOK.

PRINT IS DEAD. ( 0 )

ACCORDING TO THE COVER OF THE NEW ISSUE OF OYSTER MAGAZINE PRINT IS DEAD...WELL THANK GOD I HAVE A BLOG. BESIDES THAT CAN WE CHECK OUT THIS HUGE ASS HELLO KITTY WANNABE BOW? KINDA LIKE IT. I NEED TO GET ON A SUBSCRIPTION TO OYSTER ASAP. ALWAYS GOODIES IN THIS BITCH.

THURSDAY TUNEAGE: YOU BETTER WURK. ( 0 )

SPEAKING OF FASHION WEEK, WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN ONE OF THE MOST CLICHE FASHION SOUNDTRACKS?? MMMM, NOTHING I DONT THINK. YOU'RE WELCOME.

RIP THE MCQUEEN. ( 0 )

A NEW FASHION WEEK IS BORN JUST AS ONE OF THE KINGS OF FASHION PASSES. ALEXANDER MCQUEEN IS GONE AT 40 DUE TO A SUICIDE BUT HIS AMAZING WORK LIVES ON AS AN INSPIRATION. SAD DAY FOR FASHION.