HLZ YES. ( 0 )

THE HELLZ BELLZ HITCH HIKER COLLECTION: 3 COLLAGE-ED UP SHIRTS WITH A COMBO'S OF GRAPHICS FROM PREVIOUS HELLX PIECES. I WANT THEM ALL...MOST ESPECIALLY THE SHIRT WITH THE CLOCK THAT SAYS "TIME TO FUCK". EACH TEE IS $35, OR YOU CAN GET A PACK OF ALL THREE FOR $75. THAT'S A DEAL RIGHT THURR.

CA$H MONI MIX VOL. II ( 1 )

YES, IT IS FINALLY HERE. THE LONG ANTICIPATED CA$H MONI MIX VOL. II BY YOUR BLOGGY RESIDENT DJ, DJ JUSTINCASE. FEELIN THE VIBE ON THIS ONE WITH SOME AMAZING TRACKS AND A NICE INTRO BY SOME BRITISH CHICK. MAKE SURE TO LISTEN & DOWNLOAD IT FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL PLEASURES HERE.



1. Classixx - I'll Get You (Gigamesh Remix)
2. Classixx - I'll Get You (feat. Jeppe)
3. Brazilian Girls - Don't Stop
4. Major Lazer - Cash Flow (Classixx Glass Bottom Dub Mix)
5. Phoenix - If I Ever Felt Better
6. Prince - Erotic City (Drums)
7. Pacific! - Hold Me (Breakbot Remix)
8. Little Boots - Every Little Earthquake (Clap Mike Amour Remix)
9. Pnau - Baby (Breakbot Remix)
10. Dizzee Rascal - Holiday (Laidback Luke Remix) (Drums)
11. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll (Digiraatii Dance Til You're Dead Remix)
12. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll (A-Trak Remix)
13. Kid Cudi - Pursuit Of Happiness (Steve Aoki Dance Remix)
14. David Guuetta feat. Akon - Sexy Bitch (Chuckie and Lil Jon Remix)
15. Dragonette - Pick Up The Phone (Michael Van She Remix)
16. Ellie Goulding - Starry Eyed (Russ Chimes Remix)

CRYSTALLIZED. ( 1 )

LOVE THESE ILLUSTRATIONS TURNED SHIRTS BY LESLIE DAVID FOR SURFACE TO AIR. IF THE CRYSTAL TEE WAS IN COLOR I'M PRETTY SURE IT WOULD BE ABOUT 398649264 TIMES MORE AWESOME BUT THATS JUST MY OPINION. MYSTICAL HIPPIE SMOKING ON THE GANJEEE CHIC IS WHERE ITS AT.

THANK YOU PROENZA. ( 0 )

YES, YES, & YES. AT NET-A-PORTER FOR $1,075.

I'LL GET YOU. ( 0 )

I'VE RECENTLY BEEN OBSESSED WITH THE SONG "I'LL GET YOU" BY CLASSIXX FEAT. JEPPE THANKS TO THE BOFREN, AND EVENTHOUGH I AM CONVINCED THAT THERE ARE SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES GOING ON AND THAT THEY SAY "DO YOU LIKE FACEBOOK" INSTEAD OF "DO YOU LIKE BASS" (WHICH IS NEITHER HERE NOR THERE) I FOUND THIS COOL VIDEO FOR THE KITSUNE x THE COBRASNAKE EP, WHICH IS MAKING ME HATE THE RAIN AND MISS THE SUN EVEN MORE. I'M IN SO CAL BABY, RAIN IS NOT WELCOME. GIVE YOUR EARS A TREAT. THIS SONG IS A PICK ME UP/ SHAKE YOUR ASS WHILE DRINKING SOME HARD HARD ALCHI TUNE.

ASSLESS CHAPS UPGRADE. ( 0 )

I'VE NEVER BEEN TO RUSSIA, BUT IF RUSSIAN BROADS ARE REALLY GOING AROUND WEARING LONG SEE-THRU MESH MAXI DRESSES THAN I OBVIOUSLY NEED TO BE PAYING CLOSER ATTENTION TO THEIR FASHION. JACQUETTA WHEELER IS WEARING A GODSEND OF A MESH DRESS FOR THE COVER EDITORIAL SPREAD IN THE FEBRUARY ISSUE OF HARPER'S BAZAAR RUSSIA. THIS IS FURTHERING MY OBSESSION WITH THE MESH LOOK, AND FURTHERING THE SAD TRUTH THAT I HAVE YET TO FIND THE PERFECT PIECE TO GIVE ME THIS SORT OF LOOK WITHOUT THE WHOLE ASS CHEEK FLASHER APPEAL. SIGH. THIS IS GORGE.

TAVI'S PESKY HAT PWNS GRAZIA. ( 3 )

I HAVE HAD ONE OF THE LONGEST DAYS OF MY LIFE BUT THE THING THAT HAS KEPT ME GOING IS THE THOUGHT OF 13 YR OLD TAVI GEVINSON PISSING OFF THE UPPITY EDITORIAL STAFF OF GRAZIA MAGAZINE BY OBSTRUCTING THEIR VIEW AT THE DIOR SHOW WITH HER OVERSIZED STEPHEN JONES FEATHER BOW, THUS REMINDING THEM THAT THEY HAVE BEEN PWNED BY A TINY ADOLESCENT GIRL WHO GETS BETTER SEATS THAN THEM (PROBABLY BETTER WRITING SKILLS TOO). NEVER WANTED TO BE A 13 YR OLD GIRL AGAIN SO BAD IN MY LIFE. GO GIRL, KILLIN IT @ PARIS FASHION WEEK.
P.S. THE BLUE HAIR LOOKS RAD.

GREY ANT. ( 0 )

ASIDE FROM WHOEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO STAGE THE LOOKBOOK LIKE A BAD SCENE FROM THE RING, I REALLY LIKE GREY ANT.

TICK TOCK. ( 1 )

NO I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE HORRENDOUS BUT FUCKINGLY ADDICTING "TIK TOC" SONG BY KE$HA (P.S. HOW TREY-LAME IS THE $ IN HER NAME. WHO DOES THAT??). YES I AM TALKING ABOUT THE NEW TICK WEDGE BY JEFFREY CAMPBELL. THIS SHOE IS FAB. OBVIOUSLY JEFFREY CAMPBELL HAS TAKEN A SEAT IN MY WARPED BRAIN IN THE SECTION LABELED "DREAM SHOES" AND DECIDED TO MAKE EVERY DREAM A REALITY IN THE HOPES OF MAKING ME BROKE BUT FABULOUS. THANKS. ANYWAYS, THESE SHOES ARE MADE WITH GENUINE PONY HAIR AND COME IN BLACK AND LEOPARD. BOTH OF THEM ARE AMAZING SO TO AVOID NEGLIGENCE I WOULD ADVISE EVERYONE TO BUY BOTH (AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT A SIZE 9, AND IF YOU DO GET THE SIZE 9 AS LONG AS THEY'RE GIFTS FOR ME). EACH RETAILS FOR $168 ON NASTY GAL AND WILL PROBABLY BE GONE SOON SO GO SCOOP EM NOW. IM SORRY FOR THE NEVERENDING BOMBARDMENT OF BEGGING FOR GIFTS AND SWAG BUT ITS WORTH A TRY (PEEESMYBDAYISONSATURDAY).

MAN SEXY. ( 0 )

I LOVE THE SARTORIALIST FOR HIS EYE FOR FASHION, AND BEAUTIFUL COOL OUTFITS THAT HE POSTS (BLAH BLAHHHHH) BUT ONCE IN A WHILE YOU JUST WANT TO SEE A HOT PIECE OF ASS. RIGHT? CAME ACCROSS THESE SEXY MAN CANDY DELIGHTS AND I THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE IT WITH Y'ALL. MEN: TAKE NOTE OF THE ENSEMBLES AND OVERALL HOTNESS. IF YOU COULD GET YOUR FACE TO LOOK LIKE THIS THAT WOULD BE GREAT. WOMEN: HAPPY DAYDREAMING.

M + J 143 ( 0 )

SO VALENTINE'S DAY IS ALMOST HERE, AND IF YOU'RE NOT OFF SOMEWHERE CONTEMPLATING EGGING YOUR EX'S HOUSE OR THROWING YOURSELF OFF A BRIDGE (WHICH I RECOMMEND AGAINST), THEN YOU MIGHT BE ONE OF THE MANY PEOPLE WHO IS WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK TO GET YOUR SIG OTHER FOR THIS WRETCHED CONSUMER DRIVEN HOLIDAY. ONE REALLY CUTE AND CLEVER GIFT IDEA COMES IN THE FORM OF THE DIGBY & IONA STUMP RING. RETAILING ONLINE FOR $210, THIS RING COMES IN THE SHAPE OF A, YOU GUESSED IT, TREE STUMP, AND CAN BE PERSONALIZED BY HAVING YOURS AND YOUR LOVED ONES INITIALS ENGRAVED IN IT IN AN OLD SCHOOL 6TH GRADE CUTESY LOVEY DOVEY FASHION. I KIND OF WISH THE RING WASNT THE SIZE OF A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP RING, WITH THE CAPABILITIES OF KNOCKING SOMEONE OUT, BUT OVERALL I THINK THE CONCEPT IS REALLY UNIQUE AND ORIGINAL.

CAMILLA & MARC. ( 4 )

I'M KIND OF DROOLING OVER THIS SNEAK PEEK FOR THE NEW CAMILLA & MARC LINE. IN ANOTHER LIFE WHERE I WASNT SO POOR TO AFFORD THE CLOTHES/ LAZY TO DRESS UP MORE OFTEN THIS WOULD BE MY WARDROBE. EVERY PIECE IS AMAZING AND I AM IN SOME KIND OF FREAKISH LOVE WITH THE WHITE JACKET. AND OF COURSE, THE SEAFOAM GREEN OBSESSION CONTINUES TO HAUNT ME. TO ANYONE @ CAMILLA & MARC: SEND ME A PIECE, ANY LIL OL PIECE, FROM THIS COLLECITON AND I WILL DEVOTE A SLICE OF MY BLOG LIFE TO YOU FOREVER...AFTER ALL, IT IS ALMOST MY BIRTHDAY.

GET PAID, GET LAID FRIDAY: YSL DICK. ( 0 )

IN HONOR OF TODAY'S GET PAID, GET LAID FRIDAY I PRESENT YOU WITH A NEW MINI SHORT FILM BY BRUCE WEBER FOR YSL FOR THE FALL/ WINTER 2010 MEN'S COLLECTION. THERES A WHOLE LOT OF MARVIN GAYE AND FREE HANGIN PEEN IN THIS FLICK, AND I AM NOT MAD ABOUT THAT.

SQUIRRELY. ( 0 )

I SRSLY COULD NOT STOP LOL-ING/ TRIPPING OUT WHEN I FOUND THIS. STILL A LITTLE CONFUSED AS TO WHETHER ITS ANIMAL CRUELTY BUT I'M GONNA GO WITH NO? SUGAR BUSH SQUIRREL IS A FAMOUS LITTLE SQUIRREL WITH A BIGGER COSTUME WARDROBE THAN ELTON JOHN. APPARENTLY, THERE ISNT ANYTHING THE LITTLE DUDE CANT DO. HES SNOW WHITE, MICHAEL JACKSON, DARTH VADER, AND A GLAMAZON (OBVIOUDLY HAS CROSS DRESSING TENDANCIES/ ISSUES). HAHAHAHAHAHA. SOOOO WEIRD.

BIRFDAY OUTFIT. ( 2 )

NEXT SATURDAY (JANUARY 30TH TO BE EXACT) IS MY BIRTHDAY. AS I WAS DREAMING ABOUT MY POSSIBLE BDAY OUTFIT I DREAMT UP THE BELOW ITEMS, INCLUDING THE MODEL'S FIGURE. FROM LEFT TO RIGHT:LINDSEY THORNBURG RUST PAISLEY MINI, $250; DOLCE VITA APRIL HEELS, $130 (SIZE 9 IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING); SWEET NOTHINGS "SWEET TITS" NECKLACE, $40.

$40,000 SHOPPING SPREE? ANYONE? ( 0 )

YOU READ CORRECT. IN HONOR OF THEIR MILLIONTH ORDER, NET-A-PORTER IS GIVING ONE LUCKY PERSON A $40,000 SHOPPING SPREE. WHICH MEANS A WHOLE LOT OF LOUBOUTINS, BALMAIN, ALEXANDER WANG, AND OTHER GOODIES THAT YOU CAN GLADLY SHARE WITH ME IF YOU WIN (CONSIDERING I AM THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT IT). TO ENTER JUST SIGN IN YOUR INFO HERE.

BABOOSHKA BABOOSHKA. ( 0 )

ON THE REAL, ETSY HAS SOME FUCKING WEIRD STUFF SOMETIMES (LIKE THE VAGINA ACCESSORIES I POSTED ABOUT A WHILE BACK), SO I WAS SURPRISED AND A LITTLE EXCITED WHEN I CAME ACCROSS BABOOSHKA BOUTIQUE. RUN BY ONE CHICK, THIS SHOP HAS COOL TOPS, LEGGINGS, AND MY FAVE, TURBANS. ALL THEIR ITEMS ARE MADE TO ORDER AND ARE NOT TOO EXPENSIVE, DEFINITELY NOT MORE THAN YOU WOULD PAY AT A TRENDY BOUTIQUE TYPE PLACE AND AT LEAST THESE PIECES ARE MADE CUSTOM. I WANT THE HALF LEATHER, HLAF COTTON LEGGINGS AND THE SIMPLE BLACK TURBAN WHICH ONLY GOES FOR $12. CHECKKKK IT OUT.

NAILZ DID PIARINCESS STYLE. ( 0 )

ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I POSTED A NAILS DID BUT THE INSPIRATION IS JUST NOT THERE. I'M NOT GONNA POST WACK UGLY HALF ASSED STUFF AND YOU CAN ONLY POST SO MUCH JAPANESE CUTESY SHIT BEFORE YOU GET GROSSED OUT AND OVER IT. LUCKILY FOR YOU ALL I FOUND THESE AMAZING DESIGNS VIA PIARINCESS. THIS GIRL HAS SOME DOPE SHIT ON HER TUMBLR SO I WOULD MOST DEFINITELY RECCOMMEND GOING OVER AND TAKING A PEEK AT THE REST OF HER STUFF. I DONT KNOW HOW IT IS THAT I CAN SPEND HOURS LOOKING AT A PERSON'S PHOTOS WHEN I DONT EVEN KNOW THEM BUT SOMEHOW IT GETS ME EVERYTIME. THE HELLO KITTY BOW DESIGN...I DIE.

ME LIKEY: GPPR SUMMER 2010 VIDEO ( 0 )

BEING THAT I AM A BIG FAN OF ALMOST ANYTHING THAT THE LADIES OVER AT HELLZ BELLZ PUT OUT, I THOUGHT I WOULD TAKE A LOOK AT THEIR FIRST ATTEMPT AT THE NEW MENS LABEL GPPR. BELOW PEEP THE VIDEO FOR THE SUMMER 2010 LINE. IF I MUST SAY SO MYSELF (WHICH OF COURSE I MUST) THIS STUFF IS LOOKING GOOD AND THE MODEL IS FUCKING HOOOOOOOOOT! A+ FOR DESIGN AND EXECUTION AND A+ FOR THE HOTTIE MODEL.

GPPR Summer 2010 Collection Video from HELLZ on Vimeo.

IF THE KID FROM UP & DADDY YANKEE HAD A BABY... ( 0 )

IT WOULD BE THIS KID. "MINI DADDY". IS IT JUST ME OR DOES THIS MAKE YOU FUCKING SICK TO YOUR STOMACH. TRYING TO BE THE NEXT BIG PUN AND HES ONLY 5. AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE 12 YR OLD "VIDEO HOES". BLEH!

[EAT SKEET]

SCHOOLGIRL SASS. ( 0 )

SAW THESE PHOTOS FROM THE LONELY HEARTS FALL 2010 LOOKBOOK ON REFINERY 29 AND I HAD TO POST A COUPLE OF MY FAVORITE LOOKS. A LOT OF THEIR PIECES LOOK LIKE DONE UP, VAMPED UP VERSIONS OF THE TYPICAL SCHOOLGIRL LOOK BUT I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. CASUAL BUT SEDUCTIVE AND I LOVE THE CHOICE OF ACCESSORIES. THE HATS, THE SHOES, THE FURRRRRR. GIMME.

TOUCH RUB LICK KISS. ( 0 )

BEAUTIFUL COLLAGES BY ARTIST CHRISTA JOO HYUN D'ANGELO INCORPORATING A LOT OF THE VARIOUS SENSUAL PARTS OF THE BODY ALONG WITH SOME COOL COLORS, PATTERNS, AND IN ONE CASE EVEN A TALL CAN. NEW COMPUTER BACKGROUND, CHECK.

JWOWW JOUSY SHOWR FASHIONZ. ( 1 )

IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS STUPID, REALLY? I AM A BIG FAN OF THE JOKE THAT IS THE FIST PUMPING, GTL, JERSEY SHORE SHOW AND CAST, BUT IF CITIES ALL OVER START TAKING FASHION NOTES FROM THESE PPL, I AM GOING TO WANT TO RETHINK MY CHOICE OF PLANET. JOWOWW (AKA JENNI WOWW) IS NOW OFFERING FANS AND OBVIOUSLY BLIND FASHION ENTHUSIASTS THE OPPORTUNITY TO BUY HER "FAMED YELLOW TOP" VIA HER WEBSITE. REALLY JWOWW, BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE YOU CAN FIND THAT TOP AT SANTEE ALLEY DOWNTOWN, ALONG WITH ANY ASIAN CLOTHING STORE THAT HAS "$5" SOMEWHERE IN THE NAME. PPL NOT ON THE COASTS SHOULD PREPARE TO BE "GUIDO-ED" AND ALL THOSE MIDWESTERNERS BETTER GET READY FOR A LOT OF UNNECESSARY OVERLY-TAN TITTY FLASHING. WHATS NEXT, IS THE SITUATION GONNA COME OUT WITH A HAIR GEL?

HAIRY ACCESSORIES. ( 0 )

DESIGNER GRAU WAL LOVES HIMSELF SOME HAIRY SITUATIONS. WITH AN EXTENSIVE COLLECITON OF NECKLACES AND BRACELETS, ALL WAL PIECES HAVE ONE COMMON MATERIAL...HAIR. HIS PRODUCTS TAKE VARIOUS TYPES OF BRAIDS AND MAKE THEM INTO A FASHION ACCESSORY THAT IS THEN CLASPED WITH A SIMPLE YET ELEGANT GOLD CHAIN. PIECES RANGE FROM $110-$160. THOUGH THESE ACTUALLY DON'T LOOK THAT BAD, WEARING HAIR AROUND YOUR NECK, TO ME AT LEAST, IS KIND OF CAVE PERSON-LIKE. HUNT, KILL, WEAR THEIR FUR AS A SIGN OF PRIDE. AKA I JUST KNOCKED THIS BITCH OUT AND NOW HER HAIR IS ACCENTING MY JACKET. WOULD YOU WEAR THIS OR NOT? THOUGHTS??

TOM FORD I LOVE YOU. ( 0 )

NEW AD FOR THE TOM FORD S/S 2010 EYEWEAR COLLECTION. NEVER DISSAPOINTS WITH THE BLATANT EXPLICIT OVERABUNDANCE OF NUDITY. AND THE LITTLE NERD COMB-OVER BLUE-EYED-BOY IS A CUTIE. SHEEEXXXYYY<3

FUCK YOU FACESPACE. ( 1 )

DESPITE THEIR TOTALLY ADDICTING NATURE (ESPECIALLY FOR A INTERNET HACK SUCH AS MYSELF) SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES CAN BE UNNECESSARY EVILS THAT DO NOTHING BUT BRING THE DRAMZ. "WTF WAS THAT WALL POST ABOUT ON FACEBOOK?". "WHY DID YOU ADD (INSERT NAME HERE) TO YOUR "COOL PPL" LIST ON TWITTER?". "WHYD YOU BLOCK ME?". THOUGH NOT EVEN CLOSE TO REALITY I ADMIT THAT I HAVE GOTTEN INTO FIGHTS DUE TO ONLINE SHIT, AND KNOW COUNTLESS OTHERS THAT HAVE TO. ITS ALL ABOUT BALANCING SHIT OUT AND NOT BEING AN ONLINE WHORE, AND NOT TAKING ANYTHING TO FAR ON ANY OF THESE SITES. IF YOURE LOOKING FOR TROUBLE YOU ARE GOING TO FIND IT, ONLINE OR NOT. IF ANY OF THESE SITES BECOME TO MUCH TO HANDLE, SUICIDE MACHINE HAS DEVELOPED THE WEB SUICIDE 2.0 TO KILL OF ANY AND EVERY OF YOUR ANNOYING DRAMZ FILLED ACCOUNTS. INSTEAD OF GOING THROUGH SEVERAL STEPS AND QUITE A BIT OF TIME DELETING YOUR FACEBOOK/ TWITTER/ MYSPACE THIS SITE WILL DO IT FOR YOU WITH ONE SWIFT CLICK OF A BUTTON. KISS YOUR SOCIAL NETWORKING WOES GOODBYE, HELP IS ON THE WAY.

ZAC POSEN FOR TARGET. ( 0 )

YEAHHHH BUDDY. RODARTE FOR TARGET SUCKED BALLS AND WAS MEDIOCRE AT BEST (I ONLY BOUGHT ONE THING FROM THE COLLECTION AS OPPOSED TO 842830235), BUT THE LOOKBOOK FOR THE NEW ZAC POSEN FOR TARGET COLLECTION (WHICH I FOUND THANKS TO FASHIONISTA) LOOKS VERY PROMISING FOR SPRING/ SUMMER. AND CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR A MODEL THAT DOESNT LOOK LIKE A BIKER DUDE? THE LINE IS SET TO HIT STORES COME APRIL SO BE PREPARED TO SHOVEL THROUGH CRYING BABIES, MOMS, AND THE DUMP THAT IS TARGET AFTER A DESIGNER LAUNCH TO GET YOUR GRUBBY PAWS ON THESE GOODS. EXCITED ALREADY BRAH.

BARBIE DOES CHANEL, THE BEATLES, AND M.MONROE. ( 0 )

I LOVE ART. USED TO LOVE BARBIE (OK STILL KINDA DO). ESENTIALLY THIS IS A KILLER COMBINATION. BARBIE MA MUSE IS A SITE MADE BY FRENCH ARTIST JOCELYNE GRIVAUD AS HER PERSONAL HONOR TO BARBIE. TAKING CLASSIC PIECES OF ART/ PHOTOGRAPHS, ETC, GRIVAUD HAS TRANSFORMED EACH ONE TO BE ALL ABOUT BARBIE. EVERY JANKY "ARTIST" CAN TRY AND PHOTOSHOP SOMETHING LIKE THIS AND HAVE IT COME OUT LOOKING LIKE IT WAS DRAWN BY A 5 YR OLD, BUT THIS STUFF IS QUALITY. LOVE ALL THE FASHION NODS. VERY COOL. PEEP THE SITE FOR ALL OF HER ARTISTIC BARBIE RENDITIONS.

GET IT DAKOTA. ( 1 )

THIS GIRL IS GONNA DO SOME BIG THINGS...STARTING OFF WITH THIS MILE HIGH HAIR ON THE COVER OF ISSUE 63 OF V MAGAZINE. LOOKIN A LITTLE TWIGGY/ CIRCA 1960'S GOLDIE HAWN. DIRTY BLONDE WITH THE DIRTY ROOTS. OH HAI, ALL HOOD GIRL.

SUCH A LOVELY PAIR. ( 0 )

ELIZABTEH & JAMES MASON SUEDE SQUARE TOE PUMPS. ONLY $350 AT INTERMIX. ALL SUEDE WITH GOLD LINING IN TWO COLORWAYS. WANT. NEED. GIMME. LOVE THE SEAFOAM GREEN. DROOOLSSSSS#$@%^.

PHOTOSHOP MAGIC. ( 2 )

I LOVE THIS. BABY ANNA WINTOUR HEADS, HEARTS, DUNKS, AND MICKEY EARS...WHATS NOT TO LOVE? THANKS 2BD.

GET PAID, GET LAID FRIDAY. ( 0 )

GET PAID AND BUY ME THIS GOLD DUST WOMAN CROCHET JACKET, FOR $248 AT NASTY GAL.
DONT WORRY ABOUT THE GETTING LAID PART, I CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT ON MY OWN. IF DREAMS WERE TO COME TRUE THE ONLY PERSON AIDING IN THIS PROCESS WOULD BE C. RONALDO. BOY, LOOKING SOOOO FINNNNEEE IN THE NEW ARMANI ADS. YUMMY!

TITS N ASS. ( 0 )

IF YOU DONT GOT ONE (OR BOTH) NOW YOU CAN HAVE IT THANKS TO DELFINA DELETTREZ. HER APHRODITE (TITS) AND SAFFO (ASS) RING ARE A BEJEWELED RING SIZE VERSION OF THE WOMAN GOODS. T GOES FOR $7,200 AND A GOES FOR $3,500 (FUCK ALMOST AS EXPENSIVE AS IF YOU BOUGHT THE REAL FAKE SHIT). I WANT THE APHRODITE. 2 BOOBS ARE BETTER THAN NONE, AND 4 ARE BETTER THAN 2. LET THE MOTORBOATING COMMENCE.

HEIDI MONTAG, YOUR ASS IS FALLING OFF. ( 1 )

OH WHERE TO BEGIN. I USED TO LOVE THE STUPID ASS MTV SHOW THE HILLS WHEN IT FIRST DEBUTED. I WOULD WATCH AND CRINGE AT THE FAKE DRAMA, AND MOSTLY I WISHED THAT I WAS A RICH ORANGE COUNTRY TRUST FUND BITCH THAT COULD SQUANDER MY LIFE AWAY SHOPPING AND CHOREOGRAPHING FAKE FIGHTS AND DRAMZ. SOUNDED FUN AT THE TIME. THENNN, THE SHIT GOT OLD. I STARTED HATING EVERYONE AND EVENTUALLY I JUST STOPPED WATCHING. DESPITE MY BREAK UP WITH THE HILLS, IT SEEMED I COULD NEVER FOR THE LIFE OF ME, BE RID OF HEIDI MONTAG. BITCH IS EVERYWHERE WHORING HERSELF AROUND FOR PARVO OR A NEW SKITTLE FLAVOR OR EVEN NATIONAL PLASTIC SURGERY DAY. POINT IS SHE IS SICKENING AND I HATE HER. SHES ONE OF THOSE TRAINWRECKS THAT IS SO PAINFUL TO THE EYES THAT I DONT EVEN WANT TO SEE HER. TODAY I WAS CHECKING OUT THE LATEST ON FASHION INDIE AND I CAME ACROSS THIS, WHICH MADE ME SICK TO MY STOMACH. FROM THE LOOKS OF THE BREASTICLES THIS IS THE SECOND ROUND WITH THE SCALPEL. ALTHOUGH I HATE HEIDI MONTAG FOR BEING SUCH A DUMB CLUELESS SKEEZE, I ACTUALLY FEEL REALLY BAD FOR HER. SHE IS A PUPPET. CLEARLY SOULLESS TRYING TO MAKE SOMETHING OF HERSELF THROUGH ONLY HER PHYSICAL BEING. SOMEONE NEEDS TO SHAKE THIS BITCH AND TELL HER THAT IF SHE DOESNT WATCH HERSELF SHES GOING TO END UP A PLASTIC SURGERY MESS LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON (REST IN PEACE) WITH HER ASS FALLING OFF, STILL TRYNA WORK IT WHEN SHES AN 80 YR OLD HAG. STOP PAYING HER TO BE STUPID. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.