CA$H MONI SALUTES JESSICA SIMPSONS GOLDEN KITTY.

THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS WOMEN CAN BE PROUD OF NOWADAYS BUT OF ALL THE COVETED THINGS IN THE WORLD, WHAT BETTER CAN BE SAID ABOUT YOU THAN THE FACT THAT YOUR KITTY IS SO BOMB SOMEONE WOULD PAY $10,000 JUST TO TAP IT FROM ALL ANGLES? I THINK THAT IS PRETTY MUCH REACHING THE OVERALL END GOAL OF LIFE. YESTERDAY PEOPLE EVERYWHERE, WHO OBVIOUSLY HAVE NOT GONE FOR THEIR ENEMA OR GOTTEN ANY ASS IN THE RECENT PAST, GOT IN A TIZZY ABOUT SOME "SCANDALOUS" INTERVIEW JOHN MAYER DID WITH PLAYBOY MAGAZINE. TO SUM UP THIS INTERVIEW, JOHN MAYER ONLY FUCKS CAUCASIANS, HES SEMI-RACIST AND THINKS ITS FUNNY AND CUTE, AND HE, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD, THINKS JENNIFER ANISTON IS BORING AS FUCK. WOOPDY DOO. SOMEHOW THIS INTERVIEW BECAME THE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION EVERYWHERE AND NOW EVERYONE HATES JOHN MAYER. MY THOUGHTS ON THIS...DID Y'ALL NOT READ THE PART ABOUT JESSICA SIMPSON'S PUSSY MAKING JOHN MAYER WANT TO QUIT LIFE? HELLO...THAT KIND OF R00LZ. WHY ARE WE NOT FOCUSING ON THAT AND HOW WE ALL CAN ACHIEVE IT?! POST-FEMINISIM SAYS USE THAT PUSSY POWER AND I SAY...WELL THE SAME. JESSICA SIMPSON HELD OUT TILL MARRIAGE AND NOW THAT GIRL IS A FREAK WORTH SPEAKING ABOUT IN PLAYBOY, THE HOLY GRAIL FOR FREAKS AND ALL THINGS PERVERSE. MAKES ME WISH I WOULD HAVE WAITED (BUT NOT REALLY THOUGH). ALL IN ALL, WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY THROUGH ALL THIS BABBLE IS WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT JOHN MAYER? LET HIM CROON ABOUT HAWAIIAN SUNSETS AND WHATEVER WONDERLAND HE WANTS. LET HIM BE AND FUCK WHITE WOMEN UNTIL HIS DICK DRIES UP AND FALLS OFF. IN THE MEANTIME, CAN WE PLEASE ALL GIVE JESSICA SIMPSON A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR HAVING THE ABILITY TO GET A MAN DRUNK OFF HER VADGE. PRETTY DAMN IMPRESSIVE IF YOU ASK ME.