FAKE REAL LIFE, THE MOVIE. STARRING LAUREN CONRAD.

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT PEEVE ME ABOUT WHAT I'M ABOUT TO WRITE THAT I SHALL TRY TO NOT BE ALL OVER THE PLACE IN AN ALL OUT CRAZED RANT (KEY WORD: TRY). SO AFTER YEARS OF THE HILLS, WHICH I ADMIT I WAS ORIGINALLY A FAN OF, AND AFTER YEARS OF FAKE SCRIPTED REAL LIFE, LAUREN CONRAD QUIT HER REAL LIFE (WHICH SHE WAS GETTING PAID 100,000 PER EPISODE FOR) AND DECIDED THAT AMONG STARTING A BORING ASS CLOTHING LINE WITH KOHLS SHE WAS GOING TO WRITE A BOOK. REPHRASE...SHE WAS GOING TO HAVE SOMEONE WRITE A BOOK ABOUT HER, FROM HER POINT OF VIEW EXCEPT THAT IT WAS WRITTEN BY SOMEONE ELSE. WHATEVS. THIS BOOK HAS BEEN ON THE NY TIMES BESTSELLER LIST FOR 14 WEEKS, WHICH IS NO SURPRISE DUE TO THE FACT THAT PEOPLE ARE SO INTRIGUED WITH HER FAKE LIFE (AS IF IT HASNT BEEN BROADCAST ALL OVER TV). NOWWWWW, THE LA TIMES IS REPORTING THAT SHE HAS SOLD THE RIGHTS TO HER BOOK "LA CANDY" TO BE MADE INTO A MOVIE. UMMM WHAT THE FUCKKK?! DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THIS AS THE EXTENSION OF LAGUNA BEACH/ THE HILLS/ TV HORSESHIT THAT IT IS? IT AMAZES ME THAT PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO PAY FOR THE RIGHTS TO A BOOK THAT HAS ALREADY BASICALLY BEEN BLASTED IN EVERY TYPE OF MEDIA THERE IS FOR THE LAST 6 YEARS OR SO. LET ME GUESS, THE MOVIE WILL BE ABOUT A LIL OL INNOCENT HOLLISTER-CLAD OC GIRL WHO MOVES TO THE BIG BAD CITY ONLY TO DEAL WITH BACKSTABBING FIERCELY HOT ANOREXIC BITCHES, WHILE HAVING HER LIFE FILMED, GETTING PAID FOR IT, BEING FORCED TO DATE GAY GUYS OR THE SAKE OF THE SHOW, AND THEN MOVING ON TO DO GRAND BORING THINGS IN LIFE LIKE START A CLOTHING LINE WITH KOHLS? COOL, IMDB, GO AHEAD AND USE MY SUMMARY FOR THE FLICK WHEN IT COMES OUT. IF THIS SHIT IS POSSIBLE I AM WRITING A BOOK ABOUT MY LIFE AND CALLING IT EAST LA CANDY, AKA SALADITO, AND SELLING IT TOO. WOULD PROBABLY BE MORE INTERESTING THAN THIS SHIT.

FO SACHE.

"YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL VERSACE."
"FOSACHE, F, O...SACHE!"

MELODY EH$ANI LOOKBOOK.

OH HELLLL. THERE IS TOO MUCH GOOD SHIT GOING ON IN THE NEW MELODY EHSANI LOOKBOOK TO NOT BE EXCITED/ DROOLING/ GOING BATSHIT CRAZY/ OPENING UP A NEW CREDIT CARD. I DUNNO BOUT ALL YOU, BUT WHEN A LOOKBOOK LOOKS THAT MUCH BETTER, IT MAKES ME WANT TO BUY THE PRODUCT IN IT THAT MUCH MORE. EVERYTHING FROM THE MODEL, TO THE HAIR, THE MAKEUP (DONE BY MY GIRL AZELLE AND HER TEAM AT LADY ART LOOKS), AND OF COURSE THE AMAZING JEWELRY PIECES ARE GORGEOUS. DID I MENTION THEY ARE SO USING THE POINTY BOX SHOULDERS, AND DOIN IT WELL! I REALLY AM LIKING THE CHAIN POW GUN RING ($75), THE CHAINBOW EARRINGS ($60), THE SEE ME SWAROVSKI PARROT EARRINGS ($225), AND WHO WOULDNT BE DOWN FOR A NECKLACE THAT SAYS FUCK U ($100)?! TOTAL GIMME. YOU CAN PEEP & PURCHASE THE ENTIRE COLLECTION HERE.





FOR THE ENTIRE LOOKBOOK PEEP LADY ART LOOKS.

HURR DID.

PEEP MY POTENTIAL HAIR DO'S COURTESY OF THE CHARLIE LE MINDU SPRING/ SUMMER 2010 SHOW FOR LONDON FASHION WEEK. I'M GOING FOR THE BETSEY JOHNSON/ COUSIN IT/ MILLI VANILLI LOOK. HARD HARD.






VIA LAURAFAMA.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE FASHION.

THE CRAZE SURROUNDING THE NEW SPIKE JONZE FILM RENDITION OF THE CLASSIC BOOK WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE HAS GONE TO THE RUNWAY. TO COMMEMORATE THE REMAKE OPENING CEREMONY HAS DEVELOPED A COOL FUR-FILLED COLLECTION WITH MEN & WOME'S PIECES INSPIRED BY THE FILM'S MANY MYTHICAL CREATURES. I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE THE FUR COATS, THAT HARP BACK TO A FORREST GUMP JENNAY KIND OF LOOK. NOT SO SURE HOW REALISTIC THE WHITE ONE-PIECE COMPLETE WITH EARS, IS BUT IT SURE IS CUTE. I MISS ONESIE PJ'S TOO. HMMM. ANYWAYS PEEP SOME OF THE ITEMS BELOW ALONG WITH THE TRAILER FOR THE FILM. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THIS MOVIE COMES OUT.

SHOE ME.

SIGH. JAK + JIL.

LADYLIKE x STUSSY GIVEAWAY.

THE GIRLS OVER AT LADYLIKE ARE HAVING A GIVEAWAY IN WHICH TWO LUCKY WINNERS WILL RECIEVE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING SETS FROM THE NEW STUSSY FALL 2009 COLLECTION. FREE SHIT IS ALWAYS GOOD SHIT, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT JUST SO HAPPENS TO LOOK FLY LIKE THIS. I WANT THE PURSE, BUT I'M TOTALLY DOWN WITH THE KEYCHAIN TOO. GIMME! GO COMMENT AND SIGN UP FOR THE GIVEAWAY BEFORE ITS TOO LATE. IT ENDS THIS SUNDAY OCTOBER 4TH.

LA LA LA.

SO EVERYONE KNOWS LMFAO IS A SPECTACLE OF A MUSIC GROUP/ DUO WHATEVS. WHETHER OR NOT YOU LIKE THEIR MUSIC, & WHETHER OR NOT YOU CAN RESPECT THAT THEY BLEW UP AND HAVE CONSTANT RADIO PLAY THANKS TO A LIL SONG CALLED "I'M IN MIAMI BITCH" (WHICH WAS THEN ADAPTED TO EVERY MAJOR CITY IN THE WORLD) YOU HAVE TO ADMIT THAT THESE GUYS PUT ON A SHOW. I'VE SEEN THEM LIVE, AND THOUGH THEY ARE MOST DEF NOT THE BEATLES, THEY ARE FUCKING ENTERTAINING. BELOW PEEP THE NEW MUSIC VIDEO FOR "LA LA LA" WHICH IS A COOL TAKE ON THE 80'S FLICK WIERD SCIENCE. LOVED THE MOVIE, THE SONG IS COOL. HAPPY MUSIC MONDAY.

P.S. THE ONLY THING I ABSOLUTELY CAN'T STAND IS THE LITTLE GREMLIN GUY WHO TOURS WITH THEM AND SHAKES HIS ASS INCESSANTLY AS IF ANYONE WOULD EVER WANT TO SEE HIM SHAKE HIS ASS. GET OFF THE STAGE YOU HOBBIT! THAT IS ALL.

GIRLS WITH GUNS.

LOVE THIS SEXY EDITORIAL TITLED "TRENDY GIRLS WITH GUNS" BY ROBERT TOTH FOR CYANA TRENDLAND. THE ILLUSTRATIONS FEATURE A LOT OF THE SEASON'S BEST FASHION PIECES WORN BY FEMME FATALE CHARACTERS WHOSE FIERCENESS IS MAGNIFIED BY THEIR WEAPONRY OF CHOICE. LOVE IT. MAKE SURE TO TAKE NOTE OF THE HOT LOUIS VUTTON BUNNY EARS & DOLCE & GABANNA CHEETAH PRINT PUFF SLEEVED DRESS, BOTH OF WHICH I HAD DROOLED OVER IN PREVIOUS POSTS. LOVE IT.

THE RETURN OF FAFI.

BEFORE MAC, BEFORE LE SPORTSAC, BEFORE ADDIDAS, BEFORE ALL THE BIG SHIT CAME THROUGH FOR PARIS-BASED FAFI I WAS ALREADY HOOKED ON HER ARTISTRY. HER GRAFF AND SASSY BUSTY FEMALE CARICATURES HAVE ALWAYS APPEALED TO ME. WHETHER IT BE THROUGH THEIR STREET WARDROBE (COMPLETE WITH BIG GOLD SHRIMP EARRINGS, SHADES, BOOTY SHORTS, OVERALLS, & 90'S RAPPER CAPS), THEIR CAREFUL PLACEMENT IN CITIES ALL OVER THE WORLD, OR THROUGH THEIR OVERALL ATTITUDE AS THEY STAND WITH A "DONT FUCK WITH ME" KIND OF SWAGGER. AFTER HER COME UP WITH MAC COSMETICS, WHICH ENABLED ANY 15 YR OLD WITH $12 AND A PASSION FOR LIP GLOSS TO APPRECIATE HER (OR JUST THINK HER SHIT WAS CUTE) IT SEEMED LIKE FAFI KIND OF DISSAPEARED, RELEASING ONLY A COUPLE OF PIECES BUT NOTHING ELSE. NOW THE GRAFF HEART-CHEEKED QUEEN IS BACK WITH A COLLABO FOR FALL 2009 THAT SHE WORKED ON WITH KWEENZ DESTROY. SWANKY, I WANT IT ALLLLLL!




VIA THE TRENDY GIRL.

GET PAID GET LAID FRIDAY: CA$H MONI MIX

CA$H MONI PRESENTS THE FIRST EVER CA$H MONI MASTER MIX BY MINE TRULY DJ JUSTINCASE. MAKE SURE TO LISTEN TO MY VERY SPECIAL INTRO. GET PAID & GET LAID TO THE SWEET SOUNDS OF THE CA$H MONI MIX. HAPPY FREAKIN WEEKEN!




DOWNLOAD IT HERE!

KIND OF AMAZING.

WOW. IF ONLY I SHAT $$$ OR SOMEONE WOULD PAY ME FOR MY ABSURD BIASED ONE-SIDED THOUGHTS...THEN I WOULD MOST DEF BUY THESE AND WEAR THEM WHILE SAYING ABSURD BIASED ONE-SIDED THINGS. UNTIL THEN WHY NOT JOIN ME IN DROOLING OVER THEM. THANKS A LOT JAK AND JIL FOR POSTING, AND THANK YOU ALEXANDER WANG FOR CREATING THESE SPRING/SUMMER 2010 WEDGES.

MY OWN MINI KARL.

WHAT THE FASHIONABLE WOULD DO TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH GENIUS KARL LAGERFELD, WELL NOW, YOU CAN. THANKS TO TOKIDOKI Y'ALL CAN GET THE NEW BBF IN MINI KARL. STANDING 10 INCHES TALL, MINI KARL COMES FULLY DECKED OUT IN HIS SIGNATURE BLACK SUIT, RHINSTONE STUDDED TIE AND BELT, AND SHADES, ALL FROM HIS COLLECTION. IT WILL BE AVAILABLE STARTING NEXT MONTH ON COLETTE AND WILL BE IN SELECT STORES IN THE US FOR THE HOLODAYS RETAILING AT ABOUT $190. THATS A LOT TO PAY FOR 10 INCHES (THATS WHAT SHE SAID). GIMME!

DAILY SHOEGASM: CESARE PACIOTTI

VERY SURPRISED I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF CESARE PACIOTTI BEFORE BECAUSE HIS SHOES ARE FUCKING AMAZING. CAME ACROSS ONE OF HIS LATEST CREATIONS TODAY VIA HIGH SNOBETTE WHO GOT IT OFF OF SOME GUY'S TWITPIC (DONCHA JUST LOVE TECHNOLOGY??). I LOVE LOVE LOVE THE NETTED-LOOK AND THAT HELL, GOOD LAWD THAT THING IS BEAUTIFUL. IT GOES VERY WELL WITH MY ADDICTION TO ODDLY SCULPTED SHOES/ HEELS. SIGHHHH...

CHANEL JADE NAIL COLLECTION.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I LOVE ABOUT CHANEL. SO UNDERSTATED AND SIMPLE YET SO FUCKING HOT! HOW NAIL POLISH CAN BE SEXY, I DONT KNOW, BUT SOMEHOW THIS PHOTO AND THE COLORS, AND MAYBE JUST THE PLAIN FACT THAT THE LITTLE GLASS BOTTLES SAY CHANEL ON THEM, MAKES THIS WHOLE THING GREAT TO LOOK AT. PEEP THE NEW CHANEL JADE NAIL COLLECTION. COMPOSED OF THE JADE & JADE ROSE COLOR, EACH BOTTLE RETAILS FOR $25. SHEXXY, I'LL TAKE BOTH.

NIGHT BY NIGHT.

IN CONTINUING WITH THE THURSDAY TUNEAGE ESCUCHA SOME NEW ORIGINAL MUSIC FROM CHROMEO AFTER ALMOST 2 YEARS OF SILENCE. THIS NEW SONG TITLED "NIGHT BY NIGHT", IS BROUGHT TO US AS A TEAM EFFORT BETWEEN THEM AND GREEN LABEL SOUND. ACCORDING THE THE DUO THIS IS THEIR IDEA OF A GOOD COMBINATION OF DISCO AND CLASSIC ROCK, AND IS SUPPOSED TO EVOKE A LOT OF HIP THRUSTING, WHILE ALSO CONJURING UP SOME IDEALS ABOUT THE FRAILTY OF RELATIONSHIPS. ALL I KNOW IS IT KIND OF SOUNDS GOOD. I DIG. NOT BLOWING MY MUSICAL MIND OR ANYTHING BUT I WOULD DEFINITELY DOWNLOAD & LSITEN TO IT. ENJOY.

CLAW$ DIY COUTURE.

PEEP THE NEW LINE OF GOODIES FROM FEMALE GRAFF ARTIST/ BLOGGER/ DESIGNER CLAW MONEY. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A FAN OF HER WORK AND HER MERCH AND THE DOUBLE C'S & $ CLAW NEVER SEEM TO GET OLD TO ME. ALSO, CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE DENIM JACKET WITH THE PEEPING DOUBLE C'S IN THE 2ND GROUP OF PICS. WTF, WHERE CAN I GET ONE OF THOSE! EVEN THOUGH I LOVE ALL THE OVERSIZED TIE DYE TEES, THE BOW SWEATER, AND THOSE LEGGINGS (AND OBVIO THE DENIM JACKET WHICH HAS ME DROOLING) I AM WEIRDLY OBSESSED WITH THE GOLD KEY CHAIN. I WANT ONEEEEEE! $36, HERE.

THURSDAY TUNEAGE: WWMD?

IN RESPONSE TO TODAY'S THURSDAY TUNEAGE WE SHOULD ALL ASK OURSELVES WHAT WOULD MARVIN DO? BELOW FIND THE NEW "HELLO BROOKLYN" TRACK FROM JAY-Z, FEATURING LIL WAYNE WITH BACKGROUND VOCALS TAKEN FROM THE CLASSIC SEX JAM "SEXUAL HEALING" BY MARVIN GAYE. YOU CAN HEAR MARVIN COO-ING AND SIGHING THE SEXY WAY HE USED TO DO ON ALL HIS TRACKS BUT I'M NOT EVEN SURE IF I LIKE THIS SONG. I AM VERY PICKY WITH HOW NEW ARTISTS USE SAMPLES FROM LEGENDARY ARTISTS/ SONGS AND I'M NOT SURE THIS DOES ANY JUSTICE TO MARVIN GAYE'S HIT. I HAVE MAD RESPECT FOR JAY-Z BUT LIL WAYNE? UHHHH NO. MAYBE THIS SONG WILL GROW ON ME, OR MAYBE I WILL CONTINUE TO THINK THAT THEY BUTCHERED A CLASSIC DUE TO THE FACT THAT SOMEONE WAS TOO LAZY TO COME UP WITH A BEAT. THOUGHTS??

Hello Brooklyn - Jay - Z feat. Lil Wayne

DIY LACE TAIL DRESS.

SAW THE BELOW DRESS VIA THE NASTY GAL WEBSITE, AND DESPITE MY URGE TO GO ON AND BUY EVERYTHING I SEE, IT STUCK ME HOW TOTALLY SIMPLE IT WOULD BE TO DIY (OR DIM IN MY CASE). ALL THIS IS IS A SIMPLE BLACK SPANDEX BODY-HUGGING DRESS WITH A LITTLE LACE ON THE REAR, BUT THE EFFECT IS HOT. IF YOURE A LAZY ASS YOU CAN PURCHASE THIS EXACT LACE BUSTLE BANDAGE DRESS FOR $55 ON THE NASTY GAL SITE.

OR YOU CAN COP THE AMERICAN APPAREL COTTON SPANDEX JERSEY DOUBLE U-NECK DRESS FOR $36, BUY SOME LACE FOR PROBABLY LIKE $5 AND GET YOUR DIY ON. RECESSION DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO LOOK CHEAP. SMART GIRLS GET THE SAME ISH FOR LESS!

HUNG LIKE A HORSE...LITERALLY.

STUMBLED UPON THIS WEIRD AND ALMOST VISUALLY UPSETTING/ FUNNY/ SCARRY/ WTF? SERIES OF VIDEOS ON TWITTER VIA DESBOOBS AND I HAD TO REPOST THEM. THIS GUY CALLS HIM SELF THE "HUMAN ANIMAL" AND YOU CAN PEEP THE REST OF HIS YOUTUBE VIDEOS OF HIM BEING AN ANIMAL HERE. UHHHH, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY. SINCE THESE LEAVE ME ALMOST SPEECHLESS LET ME JUST RETYPE WHAT SHE SAID IN REGARDS TO THESE ABSURD THINGS "THIS SHOULD BE CONSIDERED BEASTIALITY." HAHAHAHA. YOU CAN PEEP HOMEGIRL'S HILARIOUS BLOG HERE. ENJOY!

PRINCESS DI REVISITED.

PHOTOGRAPHER ROBERT CERANOWICZ PAID TRIBUTE TO THE LATE AND EVER SO CLASSY PRINCESS DIANA IN A FASHION EDITORIAL HE DID FOR ELLE POLAND. IT IS FREAKISHLY AMAZING TO ME HOW MUCH THIS MODEL LOOKS LIKE PRINCESS DIANA! ALMOST WEIRD. I AM PARTICULARLY LIKING THE SHOT IN WHICH A FRAMED PHOTO OF DIANA HAS HER IN A FIERCE ASS POSE WEARING SOME CRAZY DYNASTY LOOKING THING. HOT! VERY NICELY DONE. I LOVE HOW ALL INTERNATIONAL VERSIONS OF AMERICAN MAGS ARE ALWAYS 1000000 TIMES BETTER.




EDITORIAL VIA FASHION SERVED.

NO GRANNY PANTIES.

SINCE I AM A TOTAL FASHION BIGGOT AND I USUALLY ONLY PAY ATTENTION TO CLOTHING AND NOT TO THE FUN UNDERNEATH IT, I THOUGHT I WOULD DO A LIL SUMPIN FEATURING SOME SHEXXY UNDERWEAR GUARANTEED TO KEEP THINGS INTERESTING IN THE BEDROOM. ALTHOUGH IM SURE THERE ARE SOME HOT COLORFUL PIECES SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD, I LET MY BIGGOTRY TAKE OVER YET AGAIN, IN MY LOVE FOR THE COLOR BLACK (OR TECHNICALLY MY LOVE FOR ALL COLORS SINCE EVERY COLOR COMBINED MAKES BLACK. BUT THAT IS NEITHER HERE NOR THERE). BLACK IS THE EPITOME OF SEXY, MOST ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS SHEER AND ONLY COVERING THE BARE ESSENTIALS. LET YOUR IMAGINATION RUN WILD AND PEEP:
LA PERLA UNDERWIRED TULLE BALCONY BRA, $240; LA PERLA TULLE THONG, $145.
STELLA MCCARTNEY LOLA SPINNING BODYSUIT, $185.

OCTOPUSS.

THIS IS FUCKING TIGHT. BEHOLD NEVERCREW'S LATEST PAINTING: OCOTOPUS. THIS PIECE HAS TAKEN OVER POOL NUMBER 7 AT A SKATPARK IN LUGANO, SWITZERLAND, AND TURNED IT INTO A ENVELOPING PINK OCTOPUS EMMERSED IN SKY BLUE WAVES. THE COLORS ARE AMAZING AND IF I WAS ABLE TO SKATE WITHOUT DYING I WOULD FLY MY ASS TO SWITZERLAND TO BE ABLE TO DO IT IN THIS POOL. ITS NOT EVERYDAY YOU GET TO GRIND ON A PIECE OF ART. TOO DOPE. MAKE SURE TO GO TO THE CREW'S SITE AND CHECK OUT THE REST OF THEIR WORK. PRETTY IMPRESSIVE.

MAISON MARGIELA GLASS SLIPPERS.

BE A TRUE TO LIFE CINDERELLA WITH THESE GLASS SLIPPERS BY FASHION GENIUS MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA. YOU CAN COP THEM AT ANY OF MMM'S STORES FOR ABOUT $2,580 OR $1,277 FOR ONE (WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT ONE SHOE?!).

COURTESY OF MA FRANGINE

HELLZ BELLZ "MIDNIGHT RIDERS".

THE HELLZ BELLZ FALL 2009 DELIVERY TWO "MIDNIGHT RIDERS" COLLECTION IS NOW LIVE ON THEIR WEBSITE. ACCORDING TO HB, INSPIRATION FOR THIS COLLECTION CAME FROM THE DARK COLORS AND AESTHETIC OF THE FILM MAD MAX. THE PHOTOS FOR "MIDNIGHT RIDERS" WERE DONE BY THE EVER-SO-TALENTED BROOKE NIPAR AND YOU CAN SEE SEVERAL OF MY FAVE A-MORIR BY KERIN ROSE PIECES IN THERE AS WELL. KILLED IT YET AGAIN!